Is it possible they hurt her??
"No matter how late she goes to sleep, she still wakes at least twice to eat..."
"I honestly knew it was only a matter of time before my pump gave out on me. "
"I understand she has to get sick, that doesn't mean I have to like it..."
Perhaps there is no stopping the germs from hitting her regardless of my most fervent efforts.
The more I talk to her about her feelings and how to properly express them, the more she will understand her feelings are valid and it is absolutely okay to share them - only in "acceptable" ways that do not include poor behavior and tantrums.
"I want to get to a point where I don’t feel the need to call each day, but I just don’t see it in the near future."